"Edward knows about my relationship with Alice," Bella said looking over at Rose confusedly. They all knew about her relationship with Alice, they had found out the night they got back from Italy. Bella didn't understand why Rose was now acting like it was some sort of huge secret she was keeping．
"Sure, but he doesn't know that he doesn't stand a chance?" Rose responded. "Actually, after tonight I'm beginning to suspect that he's starting to figure it out, but it would still be decent of you to handle the situation like an adult.”
"Doesn't stand a … I have no idea what you're talking about!" Bella declared her voice full of frustration as she turned to glare at Rosalie．
"You're leading him on," Rose said bluntly, realizing that subtly wouldn't work with Bella. "You've already made up your mind … or your heart, or whatever. You haven't been in love with Edward for a while, have you?" she continued looking over at Bella knowingly. "You're making him think that things can work between the two of you. But you don't have the same relationship Alice and Jasper do," she went on, her voice gentling a little. "At least Jasper knows that she still loves him. When she looks at him her eyes still light up. When you're around Edward I can practically hear a funeral dirge playing in the background.”
"That's not … that's not true," Bella said shaking her head from side to side. But her voice was weak, and her chest was tight because the more she thought about what Rose was saying the more she began to suspect that it was true. "I love him. I do," she insisted．
"No. You feel obligated to him," Rose replied without a hint of doubt in her voice. "You know he loves you. Ｈe tried to kill himself because of you. That's a lot of pressure, a lot of expectation, and you think you have to be with him, that you should be with him, because he wants you so much. But you don't feel it anymore, do you? You like him, you still care about him, but whenever you're with him you wish you were with her instead.”
Bella squeezed her eyes shut and angled her head away from Rosalie, willing the tears that she could feel burning in her eyes to say there. She wanted to deny what Rosalie was saying. She wanted to curse at her, and tell her to go to hell. She wanted to stick her fingers in her ears and chant 'la la la' until the horrible words went away. But she had heard them, and there was nothing she could do to erase that．
Worst of all, she felt the truth of them, and the pain and shame that they made her feel would not be ignored．
She didn't love Edward anymore. She hadn't been happy with him for a long time, not since he had returned to Forks, and she had been trying very, very had not to think about that fact．
They fought regularly now, and often spent hours in silence not knowing what to say to each other, fearing that they would just upset the other. When Edward had stopped during the one time they had almost made love, she had been relieved, almost grateful that he had ended it. When she saw him, her heart no longer thudded in her chest. It was Alice's eyes, and arms, and mouth, and scent that she dreamed of, never his. And Rose was right, she was right. On Edward's nights, when he stayed, when they were tucked away in her room together as she shifted against him trying to fall asleep, all she could think about was how much she wished Alice was there with her instead of Edward．
"I know you're trying to be nice," Rosalie said, breaking the silence. "But you should tell him the truth," she continued mirroring her earlier words. "In the long run, it really will be kinder.”
"It'll devastate him," Bella murmured softly, her hands fidgeting in her lap．
"It already is," Rose replied turning to look at Bella. "I know Italy, what he tried to do is weighing heavily on you," she continued sighing, "but ultimately, Edward is responsible for Edward. It is up to him how he handles life's disappointments. Just because someone loves you, it doesn't mean that they own you," she went on, her voice hardening as she looked away from Bella. "You don't have to give yourself to him out of a feeling of guilt or obligation.”
Ｈer tone became less fierce again, and Bella looked at her curiously, wondering at the strength of emotion that had just gripped Rosalie．
"Right now you still care about him, and if you're honest with him, one day you two might even be able to be friends," Rose continued softly. "But if you stay with him, if you rip his heart to shreds bit by bit, lying to him day in and out, you'll end up hating each other.”
Bella stared at Rosalie for a second and then turned away, curling away from her in her seat, resting her head against the back of it as she directed her gaze outside of the window, a horrible weight settling over her as she realized that Rosalie was right．
The Next DayBella watched as Jacob approached her truck. Ｈe was walking slowly, almost tentatively, but his face was calm, and she thought that she could just detect the hint of a smile on his face．
"I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth," Jacob said, leaning his muscular arms in the open window of Bella's truck. "She's not hiding in the tree line is she?" he asked, but his voice was light, and Bella knew that he was joking more than anything．
"No," she said smiling. "Alice is at home. Though I am to call her immediately, immediately, as soon as I'm off of the reservation," she went on rolling her eyes a bit．
"I don't know what they think we're going to do to you," Jacob muttered stepping back as Bella reached for the door handle of her truck．
"I don't think she's really worried about me being hurt," Bella said stepping out of the truck and closing the door behind her. "I told you about Alice's visions," she continued, moving over towards Jacob, a happy laugh escaping her when he enveloped her in a big hug. "She can't see werewolves," Bella continued when he pulled back from her, "and it makes her nervous that she wouldn't have any advanced warning of impending doom if something were to happen while I was around one of you.”
Jacob made an unkind sound in his throat but didn't say anything, and Bella was glad that he had bit his tongue. She knew that it made him uneasy that there were vampires out there who had extra abilities, and especially that three of the vampires in Forks had some. Ｈowever, there was nothing that he could do about it, and she didn't want to get into a fight over it with him．
"Feel like going for a walk?" Jacob asked, shoving his hands into his pockets, kicking at the dirt with his large feet. Despite is hulking figure, he looked like a little kid at that moment, the boy that Bella had first met all though years ago, and she smiled widely at him, overcome with affection．
"The beach?" she asked. It had been one of her favorite stomping grounds when she had been spending her days at La Push with him in the last month of the Cullen's self-imposed exile．
"Sure," Jacob said, smiling at her as well．
"So," Jacob drawled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked over at Bella curiously. "What's been going on with you?" he asked struggling for nonchalance. Ｈe hadn't had a chance to really talk to Bella in a long time, and the last time they had seen each other, her life had seemed to be … fairly complicated to say the least．
"Start with something easy, why don't 'cha?" Bella said laughing darkly, before she lifted her hand to her face and scrubbed her fingers over her eyes wearily. "Things are … good, and bad, and complicated, and incredibly simple, and sweet and bitter, and … my life is a soap opera," Bella moaned. "One of those nighttime ones, on pay channels … with the warnings before them," she sighed covering her face with her hands．
"Yeah," Jacob said hesitantly, looking over at her as she dropped her hands from her face. "Like, what exactly is going on with your love life?" he asked．
The last time he saw Bella she had seemed to be pretty 'close' with Alice, but he had been checking on her from a distance occasionally, and he had seen that Edward was still about quite a bit which was pretty confusing, since Bella was dating his sister．
"Oh god, I wish I knew," Bella said looking over at Jake speculatively. "If you don't want to know, you don't have to be polite and ask," she continued. "I get that it's kind of weird you know, and if you don't want to talk about it that's fine," she went on, both hoping that he would want to drop it, and dreading that he would want to drop it. She actually kind of wanted to talk about it with him, he was a great listener and even though he was younger than her, he usually gave really good advice. But, if he was uncomfortable talking about who she was seeing after refusing to date him, she would respect his wishes．
"It's alright," Jake said looking away, knowing that she was referring to his ill-fated attempts to woo her. "We're friends, and you know, if stuff is going on, then I wanna know about it. I'm a pretty good listener," he continued, knowing that it wouldn't exactly be pleasant, but he did really want to be there for her．
"I don't even know where to start," Bella said, her mind whirling with all of the possibilities．
"Definitely start with Alice," Jacob said looking over at her. "Cause … when did you start to like girls?" he asked throwing his hands up in the air. "I mean she's pretty good looking and everything, for a bloodsucker. And she seems alright, for a bloodsucker. But … she's … a girl!”
"Yeah," Bella said looking over at him. She looked a little bewildered herself. "The thing is I don't even know," she continued honestly. "Renee said I was a late bloomer," Bella continued rolling her eyes, "but I … like, you'd think I would have had some idea right?" she asked shaking her head. "I just … I had kind of always noticed girls, but I just thought it was like a regular kind of way. But with Alice …" Bella trailed off, realizing that she was about to sigh dreamily．
"So you just like woke up one day, and it was like 'whoa I want her body'?" Jacob asked, smiling a little as Bella looked over at him and frowned．
"Not really," she said. "I mean, for a while I wasn't even aware of the attraction. But Alice is like … really touchy feely," she continued smiling a little. "The first time we really met she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, and after that, we always seemed to be touching. And then it was like, I kind of missed it when she wasn't touching me. And then … well, you know," Bella said, not wanting to say 'I wanted her to start touching a lot more of me' out loud．
"Wow," Jacob said, opening his eyes wide as he looked at her. "So," he drawled again a second later．
"What?" Bella asked wearily, beginning to realize that Jacob's 'so's' were precursor's to private questions he wasn't sure she would want to answer．
"Ｈow was it?" he asked kicking a pebble casually．
"Ｈow was what?" Bella asked although she was starting to get a bad feeling about how he was going to respond．
"You know," Jacob said waving his hand in the air. "The sex," he continued struggling for nonchalance．
"No," Bella said shaking her head. "No, no, no," she continued stopping in her tracks to wave her finger at him. "We're not talking about that. No way. Never. That is … no," she said shaking her head again．
"Oh, come on," Jacob whined. "I'm your best friend, you're supposed to tell me this stuff," he continued, however Bella just went on shaking her head. "I'm a guy!" he said finally. "It's just mean not to tell me. It's … you're both …”
"It's … we're both … what, Jake?" Bella asked, her eyes narrowing at him．
"Ｈot girls who touch each other," Jacob muttered kicking at the dirt again. "You've gotta tell me something.”
"Ew, no," Bella said again. "I don't want you thinking about that," she went on shuddering a little. "Listen, all you need to know is that it was fine. That's all I'm ever going to say about it," she continued. "You can use the internet to indulge in your girl-on-girl fantasies like the rest of the world," she went on. "Ew," she added for good measure shaking her head once more．
"Fine, fine," Jacob said even though he sounded a bit upset. "What's going on with Edward?" he asked, spitting out Edward's name distastefully．
"Are you going to ask me about sex with him, too?" Bella asked peevishly．
"You had sex with him?" Jacob asked as his body began to shake．
Ｈis voice was so loud that Bella immediately pushed up onto her tiptoes and lifted her hand, putting it against his mouth to stop his words. They were on the beach, but there were still people milling about in the distance, and nothing grabbed people's attention more than anything that had to do with sex. People could be talking about national secrets without anyone around the paying attention, but the moment someone heard a word like 'nipple' you had their full attention．
